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| Back in the 90's, I purchased a property sitting on a farmland in Wenzhou, China. Since then it's been used by a Christian church, rent free.
Well, I'm selling it now... it's a MBO (management buyout). 
I'm getting calls from the Christian "management" there...
Wu: Brother Falanke
Falanke: Brother Wu
Wu: By the mercies of God, you need to come out here soon to do the paperwork.
Falanke: Oh... ok.
Wu: By the US gov't, you need to bring a proof of singleness.
Falanke: Ah? Huh? Um... a proof of singleness?
Wu: Yeah, that you have no bickering wife who will lay claim to the title once you transfer the property to me.
Falanke: Oh... um... (I am not planning to marry a bickering woman, btw).
Wu: So go to President Obama and get one.
Falanke: Gosh, I don't think anybody in America can prove that I'm not married. Geez... I mean, there's a marriage certificate thing issued by the state government... But I don't think there's a singleness certificate. (Anybody out there has a single certificate?)
Wu: Whatever, you need a single certificate issued by the US gov't to close this transaction. Please do it by the end of the year before the tax laws in China changes, ok?
Falanke: Um... ok.
If any of you know anything about a proof of singleness, please help. Thanks. 
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| I'm at the office... around 6pm... Hmm... it's awfully quiet out there.
I stick my neck out to see...
By golly, I'm the only one left in the office.
Life in a PE firm, everybody goes home early...
I call my bankers in Hong Kong... they're all slaving away still. 
Oh well, I'm going home now... it's 7:30pm. But being one of the bosses, I'm on call all the time.
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| Unlike those hedge fund managers out there, I don't do insider info. No no no...
I do talk to CEO's and obtain detailed information that the public ignores. But I don't cross the line and get that insider stuff.
Falanke: Hey J...
J: Hey Falanke... Um, so...
Falanke: So?
J: Yeah, so what happened to that announcement?
Falanke: What announcement?
J: You know...
Falanke: Oh... Hmm... I can't say anything because this company is publicly traded.
J: Oh. Why not?
Falanke: (I thought I just told you...) Um... Did you see that HK movie about insider trading?
J: What movie?
Falanke: The one called Qie-Ting-Feng-Yun. For all I know, my phone line could be tapped by the HK/PRC police by the Securities and Futures Commission.
J: Oh really? You believe so?
Falanke: Yeah... so if I tell you stuff... we both go to jail for a minimum of 7 years. Your husband wouldn't like that.
J: Hahaha...
Falanke: Anyway, I can't say anything. Sorry.
Right now, even though I'm with a private equity firm, I still have access to public company information. The last thing I want to do is to go to jail in Hong Kong or Commie China.
Remember what I've said before, when you come across a guy driving a Ferrari on the streets of HK, most likely, he got it illegally. It's pervasive here. And the HK Securities and Futures Commission is now finally cracking down... in a serious and comprehensive manner.
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| That Major Hasan dude was a total Islamic Jihadist.
We gotta make sure that he lives to 99 in solitary confinement and deprived of all those 70 virgins from Alah.
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| 
The Dow hit a new high for 2009. But the S&P isn't there. I would sell the market here, but I was asleep so I didn't. Market will be range-bound, so swing trade makes sense here.
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